Brenda There are hundreds, maybe thousands of recommended “hacks” in the wellness industry. Most of them are useless, and some could even be considered harmful. There are a few, though, that I consider helpful in ways you might not realize. But a large part of the problem is that most people have no idea how to start meditating and some even use it in ways that could be harmful.
Is meditation evil?
First off, let me address one thing that keeps coming up, at least in some of my circles. Christians, and maybe other religious groups, feel that meditation is somehow evil, or opens you up to demons or “entities.” In my opinion, and of those who are long-term meditators, the truth is quite the opposite. Many times people have opinions about something they don’t understand because they don’t understand it, and they believe what they’ve been told without looking into it for themselves.
I grew up in a Christian family and raised my children Christian until I began to see things that I couldn’t reconcile. I won’t go into it here, but I was also told that meditation was evil. Then I tried it and I couldn’t believe the difference it made to my life. Now I practice regularly.
What is meditation? And what isn’t it?
Meditation is, at its root, stillness and observation. What it isn’t meant to do is open you up to anything other than your own thoughts and patterns. It is also meant to open you up to your own wisdom. While some believe that the only wisdom we should be open to is God’s, I don’t agree. We are connected to the universe and through us eternal wisdom flows. We just need to tap into it.
Why is it so difficult to meditate?
I don’t believe it is. But if you’re trying to sit still for an hour and have no thoughts, it’s nearly impossible, especially for beginners. The point isn’t to have no thoughts, the point is to be quiet, to rest your mind and allow yourself to observe. Before meditating, most of us don’t have a clue about our thoughts. We go about our busy day thinking thoughts, sometimes overthinking them, exhausting our brains that struggle to sleep. Meditation gives our brains a chance to rest and communicate the most important thoughts to us.
What if there is a difficult situation in your life that you are thinking round and round about but coming to no conclusions? What if you gave yourself permission to stop struggling with it and allowed your brain to tell you the answer? It may seem simplistic because it is. The biggest truths are often the simplest ones.
Giving yourself permission to stop thinking is a powerful tool in solving your problems and healing yourself. I’m sure you’ve experienced this truth, “You can’t think your way out of a problem.” But your mind and heart know the answer if you’ll only listen. This is how I was able to heal from childhood trauma and discover my healing path. This led me into doing my passion as my job.
Here’s the part you may not like to hear, but it’s necessary. It takes discipline and commitment. This is something we aren’t encouraged to practice in our modern world. We can get a machine to write our words or an app to do our thinking, so we’re asked to practice discipline less all the time. But it’s in doing the difficult things that we build resilience and grow. And those are the things that change your life.
The good news is, the commitment isn’t that difficult. It’s a small part of your day that will soon become the most important time. You need only begin with five minutes and slowly work your way up to a longer session. Eventually, you’ll find yourself craving that time.
My son is a meditation coach and he approaches meditation in a different way than I do. We each have our practices and they look vastly different. This is the other good news. You don’t have to do it like anyone else. I started off following a guided meditation daily. Eventually, I didn’t need it anymore and now I can meditate pretty much anywhere and anytime. It feels like a familiar, comfortable place for me to settle into.
How to start meditating
You can do like I did and use a guided meditation. There are many fantastic apps and most will have shorter meditations for beginners. But don’t stop there. Work your way toward doing meditation in silence. Or have some quiet instrumental music playing in the background. But having someone speak means you can’t observe your own thoughts, which is the eventual goal.
Find a quiet spot to sit. Outdoors is a nice place to start if your house is noisy, but if you can shut your bedroom door and be alone, that’s probably ideal. Sit comfortably. I sit cross-legged, but you don’t have to. You can sit in a chair, on the floor, or anywhere you like. Close your eyes and slowly inhale until you feel your belly expand and then slowly exhale through your mouth or nose. It’s best to inhale through your nose if possible.
Do this three to ten times. You’ll feel your heart rate slow and should feel yourself calm. There is nothing quite like deep breaths to soothe your nervous system. I use them anytime I feel stress. It brings me back to center and helps keep my brain functioning well even in a crisis. Next you continue breathing normally and allow yourself to observe. At first you’ll feel your thoughts going all over the place. I think this might be because it’s the first time you’ve sat and listened. And it will take time for this to calm. So you can’t expect a week of meditation to bring you to a still place. Like I said, it takes some discipline.
You’ll sit quietly, observing your breath, the sounds in the room, your thoughts, but not attaching yourself to any of them. This means, don’t judge them. “Oh my god, why am I thinking so much?” is not going to help you. We are far too judgmental of ourselves, so this is also a time of non-judgment where you have permission to just be.
After a while (however long feels comfortable at first) you’ll take a few more deep inhales and exhales and then slowly open your eyes. Don’t jump right up but give yourself time to come back. Do this a little longer each time until you reach your ideal time. You don’t have to meditate for five hours, or even an hour. Fifteen minutes a day is better than none at all. My ideal time is about half an hour, but I think my son meditates for an hour a day.
As I said, we are different and that’s perfectly okay. You aren’t doing this for anyone but yourself. Again, no judgment means, you don’t have a goal for this either. You aren’t trying to “get somewhere” so there’s no goals, no quotas, nor any comparisons. This is the one time in your life where you’re allowed to just “be” without judgment and without shame. Allow yourself this and you’ll be blown away at the difference it makes in your life.
Meditation could be the greatest gift you give to yourself. It certainly has been mine and I know my son has said the same. I would love to know if you decide to try it or if you’ve been meditating for a while. I’d love to hear from you about your experience. It’s these stories we share with each other that connect us and help us to see that we’re not alone, and we’re not really that different after all.
With all the love in the world.
